- me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
- me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours
What do you mean you don’t bathe your onions in fresh imported mountain spring water made from the melted snow caps of the Himalayas before you sautée?